Henry on a Wednesday. Works for me!

(Scene fades to a general montage of the ladies from the shop dragging LEW about for a night on the town. They do the old “go into a shop, jump cut, emerge a few seconds later with person in new clothes” with him, and proceed to drag him down to one of the local nightclubs, which is situated underneath an old piece of farm equipment. Now, as we’ve seen before, nightclubs don’t seem to be LEW’s kind of scene, so he looks awfully uncomfortable as five or six ladies of varying ages fawn over him, buy him drinks, and generally try to embarrass him into having a little fun. The bartender, of course, gives LEW a look that says “Lucky sod!” because bartenders always seem to have that sort of omnipotent wisdom to them. Eventually, through several uncomfortable hugs and mandatory dances, LEW begins to relax…although maybe it’s the sneaky amount of liquid happy present in the club’s fluorescent line of drinks.)

LEW: (to bartender)

Thanks, mate. (as he and VERA get the next round of drinks in all colors of the rainbow. They head back with hardly a word to each other, both rather embarrassed and obviously forced into getting the drinks.)

So… how’d you wind up with a name like Vera, anyway?

VERA: (trying, with some difficulty, to carry one of the trays, but responding without her customary shyness, but rather an overeager nervous stammer.) It’s not actually my full name, it was moi Gran’mum’s name, acktchally… short for Verbena.

LEW: (amused to no end) You’re kiddin’ me.

VERA: (not getting it) No, ‘er name was Verbena Gladstone, me Mum’s Mum.

LEW: No wonder you wound up workin’ at the shop, (he chuckles again as they reach the table) both your names could be stock.

VERA: Oi, don’t be mean! (she pouts)

LEW: Clarice, darlin! Could you make sure the shelves are plenty full of that new “Verbena Aloe Vera” foot cream? Thanks, luv!

VERA: Why, you cheeky…!

(she tries to swat him, but almost loses her tray in the process. With an awkward squawk, she looks ready to topple over.)

LEW: Here, let me help you with that.

(he plucks the tray from her shaky hand.)

VERA: Oi don’t need your ‘elp, funny-boy.

(she snatches for the tray in LEW’s hand, but is far too short. Now nearly fuming, she plops down into the table in a fine funk.)

LEW: Aw, don’t be upset, Vera… (she’s not buying it). Awww, come on… look, I’ll make iy up to you. Aask me something, anything you want. I promise I’ll answer, awright?

VERA: (gives him a scrutinizing look)


LEW: Really. (he smiles as if to say “trust me.”)

VERA: Awroight…why do you work at the shop?

(LEW’s face immediately falls and he shrinks in the chair. VERA, fully in control now, presses the issue)

VERA: Come on now, Mr. Oxford… why does a big, tough construction bug loike yew spend his days off sellin’ creams and poultices? Eh?

LEW: (who had been expecting another question) Vera, er…couldn’t you ask something else?

VERA: Nope, now spill it.

LEW: Er, well… you know what I am, right?

VERA: You’re a right turd for dodgin’ the question, you are.

LEW: (earnestly) Come on, Vera! You know what I am, right? You know…what kind of bug I am?

VERA: (rolling her eyes) Yew can’t be serious.

LEW: I am. I work there so I make sure no one can ever call me…y’know…

VERA: Stinky?

LEW: (crestfallen) Yeah. It’s…well…it’s a constant worry. I don’t want anyone to have that reason to tear me down. It’s bad enough I am what I am. I’ve got to make sure everyone sees the best, or I’m no better than those crumbs from this morning…

VERA: (seeing his wounded pride, she sidles a little closer)

Well, d’you know wot Oi say t’that?

LEW: What?

VERA: (with a massive grin)

Sod ’em. Let’s dance!

(she goes to stand up, but LEW catches her hand and pulls her back down next to him.)

LEW: Not yet, Vera. Let’s…let’s wait til this song is over, awright?

(LEW is obviously a little flustered. The two smile at each other as the nightclub’s band begins a new song. Coincidentally, the band happens to feature the gypsy moth busker and the piano playing beetle from the pub. The beetle takes lead vocals as the moth backs him. All the noise of the bar melts away into a low murmur, and camera slowly pans away from LEW and VERA, locked in a gaze, and over to the band.)

There’s a kind of hush all over the world tonight.
All over the world you can hear the sounds of lovers in love.
You know what I mean.

(camera switches back to LEW and VERA)

Just the two of us and nobody else in sight.
There’s nobody else and I’m feeling good just holding you tight.

(LEW attempts to put a trembling arm around VERA’s shoulders. She allows it. He beams)

So listen very carefully.
Closer now and you will see what I mean.
It isn’t a dream.

(VERA leans in and puts her head on LEW’s broad shoulder. LEW swallows uncomfortably and blanches a little, but stays in his seat.)

The only sound that you will hear
Is when I whisper in your ear
I love you forever and ever.

(the camera switches back to the band)

There’s a kind of hush all over the world tonight.
All over the world you can hear the sounds of lovers in love.

(scene dissolves to the BROWN’s house. CECELIA is stroking the head of HENRY as he sleepily, half-consciously sings the rest of the song by himself. The flat is empty, and the night is quiet and soft, a far cry from the bustling nightclub.)

So listen very carefully.
Closer now and you will see what I mean.

(he yawns.)

It isn’t a dream.
The only sound that you will hear
Is when I whisper in your ear
I love you forever and ever

(the words slow more and more as he finishes the song, finally drifting off into a slumbering morass.)

There’s a kind of hush all over the world tonight.
All over the world people just like us are fallin’ in love.
Yeah, they’re fallin’ in love.
Hush, they’re fallin’ in love.

CECELIA: (finishes off the song.)

(as HENRY falls asleep on her shoulder, she uses her free hand to page through HENRY’s pamphlet one more time. Her face is almost indescribable: admiring, impressed, but at the same time troubled and feeling the first pangs of dread. As the scene fades out, she’s reading it over again from the beginning, her brow furrowed, sighing heavily.)

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