Bring it on home!

(The sun shot melts into a similar shot with a caption reading: "ONE YEAR LATER" very authoritatively. Then, sheepishly, it throws on "…more or less." A crane shot lowers us back down to the familiar house of the Walters out in the countryside. All around it, autumn and the harvest are beginning to creep in, which means that the nearby town will soon be bustling. The camera follows the ever-rumpled Gypsy Moth busker up to the front door of the Walters’ home, knocking as the camera spins around, showing his face as the door opens from a brief moment of black. He’s still shabbily dressed, but it appears he’s gone through some effort to primp, even attempting, and failing, to tie a tie. He doffs his tattered hat briefly.)

BUSKER: Mornin, chief.

(The camera clips to an over-the-shoulder from the busker, showing HENRY in his usual, save his bowtie is black and he is without his usual bowler hat.)

HENRY: Hey, you! Glad you made it! Just wouldn’t be the same without you.

BUSKER: O’course not! Who else would be supplyin’ th’ music?


(IAN and PERCY leap out from behind HENRY’s lanky frame, still resplendent in topcoats, tails and top hats.)

BUSKER: Oh, blimey (he slaps a hand to his forehead, looking at HENRY) you really do need my help, mate.

HENRY: (confidentially, to the BUSKER) I couldn’t help it. These two offered to pay for the whole thing, but they demanded to be in the band. I guess their parents are rich bugs from down around London…

BUSKER: (propping up the brim of his floppy hat and squinting) Really?

IAN: (drawing himself up to an unimpressive height) And what of it? Just ‘cos we’re rich, it don’t mean we ain’t tough!

PERCY: Aye, tough…like you was when your Mummy bailed you outta the clanger. You was cryin’ like a larvae!

IAN: Oh, and I suppose you were sittin’ pretty when your Dad came to give you a come-to meetin!

PERCY: Too right I was!

IAN: Oh, sod off, you!

(IAN attacks PERCY, finery and all, and the two begin fighting in the foyer. HENRY sighs)

HENRY: It’s like this almost every time they come over. But what can I do? They saved our lives. Speaking of which…

(he takes a few steps out the door and brings the BUSKER along. The next words are quiet and tense.)

HENRY: How are… things?

BUSKER: It’s slow going, mate. Your ideas are catchin’ on, but thanks to that night, no one knows who Herman really is. You’re safe.

HENRY: Thank goodness…for all of us.

BUSKER: Still… I think you won’t be allowed back in town for a while, just so you know.

HENRY: (with a mischevious smile) I don’t think that’ll be a problem. Did the Browns come with you on the train?

BUSKER: (smiling through a few missing teeth) Aye, they did. Ol’ Mister wasn’t too pleased by the sight of me, but the Missus an’ I spent the whole trip singin!

HENRY: That sounds like her…what about the shop ladies?

BUSKER: They were singin’ back-up!

(The two laugh as they make their way down the street to a brand new house, made from a few old, red bricks. Ivy is beginning to grow on the front, near a blue door. HENRY saunters up and knocks smartly.)

HENRY: Enough with the beautifyin, mate! We’re gonna be late!

(A pause. Then, the door opens revealing LEW OXFORD in a smart tuxedo, tails, top hat, and cane. He hands HENRY a similar bundle.)

LEW: Beautifyin, nothin! I can barely fit my shoulders in this monkey suit!

HENRY:  (pulling on his jacket) Oh, come on now, Lew… I’m sure Vera will think you look dashing!

LEW: (warning) Oi.

HENRY: Oh, sorry…I meant your boss. That’s what she is now, right? Grammaw Vera died, left her a fortune, and now you two are in business for yourself! (he plops the hat on his head and spells the name with his arm in the air) VERA VERBENA: scents for the distinguishing bug. Got a ring to it, eh? Came up with it myself!

BUSKER: (going with it) I like it! I’d shop there!

LEW: Then you can both go and shop there and leave me the hell alone!

HENRY: Remind me to ask Vera…that is, your boss, if I could borrow you for the harvest this fall. You think she’d let you go for a few days?

LEW: (snorts derisively, then counters, smiling ruefully)
Aren’t we going to be late?

(HENRY pulls out a pocketwatch and checks it, his eyes boggling)

HENRY: Blimey, we’d better hurry. The ladies would never let us hear the end of it!

(All three head into a brisk trot down the road. As they pass the Walters’ house, IAN and PERCY have apparently come to a truce, closing the door behind them. IAN extends his arm exagerratedly to PERCY)

IAN: (laying it on think) If yer please, Maister Cleary?

(PERCY bends an elegant leg)

PERCY: Moi playsure, Maister Thrush!

(The two pop monocles in their eyes, and trot off as if something uncomfortable is in their backsides, twirling their canes ridiculously. The scene dissolves into a flurry of harvest blossoms, which part to reveal a gorgeous, if simple, homey wedding outside the local church. HENRY and CECELIA and leaving, bride and groom, CECELIA in a magnificent white dress. LEW follows with VERA as Best Man and Maid of Honor. IAN and PERCY are throwing bits of paper in a ridiculous manner. The BROWNS are off to the couple’s right, and the WALTERS are to the left. Outside of a few other mantises and the shop ladies, no one else is in attendance…save the vicar, a prim and proper looking black ant. HENRY and CECELIA are heading down the stairs, hand in hand. CECELIA stops at the bottom, holding HENRY’s hands in hers. She grins and shakes her head.)

CECELIA: Henry Walters… do you love me?

(HENRY leans in and kisses her lightly)

HENRY: Cecelia Walters… I do.

CECELIA: (she blushes furiously. No one has ever called her that before!)
And why on Earth do you?

(HENRY takes her, dips her, and really lays a smooch on her. He puts his bride back, a little dizzy but no less worse for wear.)

HENRY: (shrugs) ‘Cos I do.

(CECELIA giggles coquettishly, a raptorial hand in front of her face, unti surprisingly, she launches herself murderously, hungrily at HENRY. The camera does a quick take of HENRY screaming, then a zoom in on CECELIA’s mouth as she closes in, culminating with complete blackness and silence, designed to give the audience the feeling that she’s truly bitten his head off. Finally, when all seems lost, the sound and picture come back in a medium shot of CECELIA kissing HENRY passtionately beneath the church steps, the sun catching the moment just right and the fall blossoms fluttering by in slow motion. Everyone cheers. The BUSKER starts up a strumming on the guitar, and both IAN and PERCY hurry to their back-up bass and drums.)

CECELIA: (looking at HENRY’s gobsmacked, yet thoroughly giddy expression.)
Henry Walters… I love you, too.

LEW: (calling out from behind the happy couple)
Oi! Mate! What do you call yourself now?

(HENRY snaps out of it, turning to the camera and beginning a shuffle-step)

HENRY: I’m ‘En-er-ee the Eighth, I am!
‘En-er-ee, I am, I am!
I got married to th’ widow next door
(he jerks a thumb at CECELIA,)
She’s been married seven times before!
(she gives him a bit of a shove, which puts him out in the open with a few other mantises to start a dance number.)
And everyone was an ‘En-er-ee

MANTISES: ‘En-er-ee!

HENRY: She wouldn’t drop a Willy or a Sam!


HENRY: I’m ‘er Eighth Old Man, I’m ‘En-er-ee,
‘En-er-ee the Eighth I am!

(the basic strumming begins again, but this time the camera pans over to the BROWNS. MR. BROWN gets down on one knee and sings to his wife, in the same rhythm)

BROWN: But I do know that I love you,
And I know that if you love me, too,
What a wonderful world this would be!

(MRS. BROWN is smitten. The camera whirls over to LEW and VERA, engaging in a very complicated looking swing dance.)

LEW: Every time I see you lookin’ my way
Baby, baby, can’t you hear my heartbeat?
In the park or walking down the highway
Baby, baby, can’t you hear my heartbeat?

Wedding bells are gonna chime
Baby, baby, you’re gonna be mine

VERA: (as she is dipped) Oooo!

LEW: Can’t you hear the poundin’ of my heartbeat
‘Cause you’re the one I love, you’re the one I love…

(the music slows a bit, and the camera switches to the WALTERS. RICHARD sends HYACINTH into  a little spin, and brings her back.)

RICHARD: Vowed that you and I would be two silhouettes on the shade
All of our days, two silhouettes on the shade

(HYACINTH fairly mobs him, tackling him to the ground in a flutter of floral print and kisses. The camera switches back to the main dance, where CECELIA has joined in, hitching up her skirts with HENRY, who turns to the camera and winks.)

HENRY: Second verse, same as the first!

(as he begins the second verse, all of the people come together to dance, each of the songs melding together over one another in a song and dance number that I can’t possibly describe here…but I’ll try:
Henry sings the first two lines, then is underscored by LEW and VERA singing "can’t you hear my Heartbeat?" on roughly the third beat of the third line of "
‘En-er-ee." After the line "I got married to the widow next door," the BROWNS begin singing "Wonderful World" in the background. At "I’m her Eighth Old Man" the WALTERS repeat the last line of "Silhouettes" as a bass line. Finally, when everything has reached a cacaphony, the BUSKER busts over it all with:)

BUSKER: There’s a kind of hush all over the world tonight
All over the world, people just like us are fallin’ in love

(EVERYONE joins in unison)
Yeah, they’re fallin’ in love
Hush, they’re fallin’ in love

(The BUSKER strums one last chord and holds his arm in the air, seeming to hold the music and the last note until he gradually brings it down with a collective "shhhhhhhh." IAN and PERCY do much the same with their arms and drumsticks. Each of the four couples clasp hands and move toward each other, with the blackout occuring at a simultaneous moment of kissing. )

Henry VIII – The End.

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