Poverty Rock Anthem

Sorry, children. Employment hunting and my current employment. You know how it goes. Until then, enjoy another wonderful song parody!

I suppose to properly get the experience, you’d have to listen to the song. Ehh. Here’s an embed.


Guess I’m sleeping in my car tonight
Til the repo man knocks on my door
Congressmen gonna make me lose my mind
Makin’ millions; make me pay for more.

I got evicted from my house tonight
I couldn’t pay the rent on time
Even though I’m workin’ overtime,

We just wanna see you!


*instead of the standard shrieky keyboard noise (if you’ve seen the commercial with the dancing hamsters, you know the noise) we’ll substitute in some auto-tuned noises of change rattling in a styrofoam cup, hacking coughs, maybe a rolling shopping cart or two, filled to the brim with personal affects and pigeon exrcement.

In the streets, poverty, headin to another job, number three
Non stop, hour twenty-three: waiter, bookstore, and delivery.

“Thanks for shopping” I got to say
Got student loans I got to pay
Half black half white, mocha joe
Look for tip, funds are low.

I’m running through temp jobs like drano
I got intelligence, bro, but I don’t let it show
I keep it shut! That’s how to keep cash in my coffer
Minimum wage, no benefits offered.


Hoping I don’t catch the flu tonight
No insurance for a part-time slob
If I’m mad because my cash is tight
Why don’t I go out and get a good job?

Job creators making bank tonight
While I’m sleeping on a bench in the park
Record profit with no tax in sight

10 year olds in China… Zāoshòu!
Every day they’re sufferin’

(this time, we get a quick flyover to the Beijing area, where the auto-tuned squeaking is replaced by a mishmash of auto-tuned sewing machines, machine presses, and the wails of underpaid workers.)

Shuffling shuffling

(we see the workers, yes, shuffling back to cheap tenement housing, miles away from friends and family. The products roll out, and we zoom back to America.)

Step up fast and be the first to defend your campaign cash
Keep your money, don’t reinvest, now stop!
Spending is bad

More tax cuts for us
Another round
Regulations cut
Don’t mess around
We just wanna see
A dollar sign
Unemployment up
Get on the line!

Get up, come down, no jobs yet, so turn around [3x]
Look for work in other towns
Halliburton’s hiring now!

Go east
Go west
Go north
Go south
Look here
Door slam
No work
Put your hands up to your head, shed a tear

Tear your hair out!
Tear your hair out!
Tear your hair out!

If I sing a happy song tonight
We’ll forget how bout how the country’s screwed up
So we’ll just keep on the sunny side
1930s style is totally retro!

Oh! Oh! Give your life up!

(a guy in the background shouts out “I haven’t seen a dentist in over ten years!”)

Oh! Oh! Sign it over!
Oh!!!Oh!!! Work at Wal-Mart!

Face it!

Twenty-six percent poverty.

Nothing, nothing
Nothing, nothing (Yeah Yeah)
Nothing’s open (Whooo!!!)
Burn diplomas
Keep from freezing
Lost another

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