Up to Speed

So far, in my hunt for permanent employment, I have been not contacted by, or turned down outright, for jobs at:

-A main tobacco distribution company
-A dinosaur museum
-2 colleges
-A sheep supply store
-3 staffing agencies
-over 20 school districts, both public and parochial, some for the same position two years in a row
-A casino
-2 municipalities
-2 county governments
-2 health firms
-A pet supply warehouse
-A furniture warehouse
-A shipping supply company (4 times!)
-A local TV station
-An organic food co-op
-A hospital
-McDonald’s
-Hardee’s
-Taco Bell
-2 insurance companies
-A Catholic parish
-A housing development authority
-At least 10 vague office staff positions at companies I can’t even Google to find out what they do
-A cheese store
-2 corporate educator positions at companies
-Overnight Educator position with severely at-risk youth
and, finally
-Around 15 fiction publishers, regarding all of the work available on my website.

If you’re curious, these are the jobs I have recently turned down:

-Temping at a call center
-Working one day a week as a porter/set-up for the local farmer’s market
-Temping at a marina (I took a temp job at the Marina next door for personal reasons)
-Temping at a call center
-A commissions-only job selling webpage creation and advertising to local businesses
-A job selling frozen treats and entrees door-to-door that would swiftly be moving to a more commissions based approach
and
-Temping at a call center.

For those of you still reading, I’ll give you these extra little nuggets:

-I’m a certified teacher, with a certificate of excellence for scoring high on the statewide content test for teachers
-I’m a certified food handler who was running a kitchen by himself at 16
-I have four acting awards
-I have six Varsity letters
-I have an IQ that has been measured in the upper 140s, and that’s when I wasn’t trying.
-I type 90 wpm, am familiar with the entire Microsoft Office suite, html, css, Mac programs, and the Adobe line of media programs
-I have a 52″ chest and can leg press about 500 pounds
-I’ve managed to sell places for people to put their 20,000-1/2 million dollar boats for three years, despite never being on the lake in a boat in my entire life.

And so it goes.

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