Tag Archives: musicals

Workin’ Man 2016

Wastin’ my time away
Sendin’ in resumes
And I sit here
with Nowhere to go

Had me a job at the big box store
but Minimum wage ain’t enough to pay for
Daycare
So now I’m at home

I need a job for these two hands
I wanna be a workin’ man
But where do I go?

Got me some college online
Now I’m overqualified
So I’ve got
Nowhere to go.

Caucused for Bernie, voted for Jill
Electoral College meant my vote meant
Nothing; nothing to show

I got a brain, I can make a plan
I wanna be a workin’ man
There’s nowhere to go

Lookin’ at my baby daughter
And I wonder what the future
Holds for her

Singing her a song by Woody Guthrie
This land ain’t your land
It is OUR land

I’m a workin’ man
And it’s time to go

We were born with a promise
Of a better day
Now we’ve got
Something to say

We am broke but not broken
And we’re am not alone
‘Cause there’s a lot of folks
With nowhere to go

Democrats down in DC Land
Sold out the workin’ man
Nowhere to go

Are they ever gonna understand
You can’t leave a workin’ man
Nowhere to go

Eight years of a middle class slump
And you’re surprised that we voted for Trump?
You gave us
Nowhere to go

Both collars, white and blue
There’s a place for you
And now there’s
Somewhere to go

Are they ever gonna understand
You can’t leave a workin’ man
with Nowhere to go

Build a Revolution
Started by the workin’ man
It’s time to go.

It’s time to go.
It’s time to go.
It’s time to go.
It’s time to go.

#LetsParty

So I bought my wife a CD for birthday, November 7. As the events played out over the next few weeks and we started listening to the CD, Track 3 kept sticking in my head. It’s no surprise as to why:

Picture an upper-middle class yuppie apartment. Election night. Balloons, confetti everywhere, people celebrating, “I’m With Her” paraphernalia everywhere… but one dorky looking guy is sitting on the couch, not celebrating the imminent win, dressed in a “Feel the Bern” t shirt.

There’s a party going on in here
It’s been happening for many years
You weren’t invited and don’t want to stay
But keep partying anyway
Dj’s playing the familiar tune
Got them dancing, shaking up the room
They hear the beat but they don’t know the words
This is the saddest song I’ve ever heard

We see a cut forward to the shocked faces and dismay as those same people realize Trump has won. Confetti is now just garbage on the floor, champagne stains the carpet as glasses tumble out of dumbfounded hands. Snap back to the “Bernie Bro” on the couch.

If you could look into the future, would ya?
If you could see it, would you even want to?
Got a feeling that there’s bad news coming
But I don’t want to find it out

The BernieBro gets up and grabs a drink, trying to put on a smile.

If it’s the end of the world, let’s party
Like it’s the end of the world, let’s party
Wrap your arms around everybody
If we’re all gonna die let’s party
Let’s party
Let’s party

Cut forward again. These forward scenes are muted, the colors washed out. A young lady, formally resplendent in “I’m With Her” regalia, now tears it off and collapses onto the couch, sobbing.

Who can I blame with everything I’ve done
Is this the price we pay for too much fun
Don’t be misled it’s not a twist of fate
It’s just what happens when you stay out late
So raise your glasses all my kings and queens
Smash the chandelier to smithereens
Who knew that mercury could rise so fast
Enjoy the party ’cause this is our last

The scene switches to the formally happy revelers, now protesting in the streets.

If you could look into the future, would ya?
If you could see it, would you even want to?
Got a feeling that there’s bad news coming
But I don’t want to find it out

The camera spins around the BernieBro as he watches the chaos unfold. He notices that the people at the election party don’t look as happy as they did when the evening started as they riot… but they don’t look as sad as they did earlier. He allows himself a little smile.

If it’s the end of the world, let’s party
Like it’s the end of the world, let’s party
Wrap your arms around everybody
If we’re all gonna die, let’s party

If it’s the end of the world, let’s party
Like it’s the end of the world, let’s party
Wrap your arms around everybody
If we’re all gonna die let’s party
Let’s party
Let’s party
Let’s party
Let’s party

Cut to black, then up again on the next morning. We see the former revelers in a trashed apartment, confetti still sitting sadly on all surfaces. The BernieBro walks into the room and extends a hand to the young lady sprawled on the sofa, who smiles sadly and takes it. They both look out of the window at the rising sun; it’s a new day.

There’s a party going on in here
It’s been happening for many years
And even if it all goes bad
It was the best time we ever had

End with a black slate with white text that reads:

REBUILD THE DEMOCRATS
#LetsParty

Brevity: On Wicked

Let me talk to you a second about WICKED: The Musical.
It came out when I was in college. When it hit, it was inescapable. Everyone was telling me how great it was, everyone was telling me how it changed their lives… everyone was telling me it was the greatest thing to ever happen ever forever. After a while, I began to suffer what TV Tropes calls “Hype Aversion.” The more I heard people gush about it, the less I wanted to see it. The more people told me I JUST HAD TO SEE IT, the more I said I never will. The more I was told it was beyond reproach, I felt more and more need to reproach it to Gehenna and back.
Hey! Gehenna is in the spellcheck!
Anyway, I remember every musical theatre major, minor, fan or even casual fan losing their blasted minds over this show, and the endless bombardment caused eyerolls, grunts, and eventually outright distaste. Sometimes, fans can just be too much, y’know?
But overall, I still was convinced it was a good show. Or at least one that didn’t stink out loud. I mean, that many fans wouldn’t like something that was completely reprehensible; I’m sure it has its good parts. The few clips I was forced to see or listen to seemed competent enough, even if some folks said it was better many years ago as a book and not a musical. Underneath all the annoyance with the fans, the over-saturation and the cloying amount of love it was getting, I felt convinced that there was at least something decent at the core that allowed it to deserve accolade… and then it lost the Tony to a foul-mouthed show featuring orange puppets talking about their dicks.

I can’t help but feel like all of the concerted effort to force everyone to admit Wicked was the best show evarrr worked against it in the end. In fact this year, 13 years after it premiered and I entered college, I caught two of the songs on an old mix CD my wife left in her car.
And they’re amazing.
They really are great.
It really is as good as they said. But, unfortunately, too many people said too fast how good it was and it turned me off. I know now I missed out on the fun in 2003 getting on the hype train (because, let’s face it, Wicked is probably going to be a landmark show in Broadway history) but coming to it later after everything dies down made it so much more effective and enjoyable of an experience. Going into it fresh, without all the baggage, allowed me to appreciate it for what it was, not what everyone told me it could or should or would be.
If you take away anything from this little nugget of the internet, I hope it will be this: you may like something, and think it’s the best thing in the world, but the more you try to evangelize it and convince someone like me that I have to like it, not that I might like it, will only lead to no one being satisfied for years. Give me some time to discover it on my own, and you’d be surprised at how we might end up in the same fandom… but you’ve got to give it time. Let it breathe… but don’t Let It Go. I’m so sick of hearing about that overexposed song.

Defying Hillary

Aside from names, I changed a total of  20 lyrics in this song.

Prescient, no?

 

Hillary:
Bernie, why couldn’t you have stayed calm, for once!
Instead of flying off the handle!

I hope you’re happy
I hope you’re happy now
I hope you’re happy how you’ve
Hurt your cause forever
I hope you think you’re clever

Bernie:
I hope you’re happy
I hope you’re happy too
I hope you’re proud how you would
Grovel in submission
To feed your own ambition

Hillary & Bernie:
So though I can’t imagine how
I hope you’re happy
Right now

Hillary:
Bernie, listen to me.
Just say you’re sorry!

You can still be in the White House
What you’ve worked and waited for
You can have all you ever wanted

Bernie:
I know
But I don’t want it
No!
I can’t want it anymore

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I’m through with playing by
The rules of someone else’s game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It’s time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes
And leap

It’s time to try defying Hillary
I think I’ll try defying Hillary
And you can’t pull me down

Hillary:
Can’t I make you understand
You’re having delusions of grandeur?

Bernie:
I’m through accepting limits
‘Cause someone says they’re so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try I’ll never know
Too long I’ve been afraid of
Losing love, I guess I’ve lost
Well if that’s love
It comes at much too high a cost

I’d sooner buy defying Hillary
Kiss me goodbye, I’m defying Hillary
And you can’t pull me down!

Hillary, come with me.
Think of what we could do together!

Unlimited
Together we’re unlimited
Together we’ll be the greatest team
There’s ever been, Hillary!

Both:
Dreams the way we planned ’em

If we work in tandem

There’s no fight we cannot win
Just you and I, defy the Oligarchy!
With you and I defy the Oligarchy!

They’ll never bring us down!

Bernie:
Well, are you coming?

Hillary hears faint horns playing “Hail to the Chief” offstage right.
She turns back to Bernie, frustrated:

I hope you’re happy
Now that you’re choosing this

Bernie:
You too
I hope it brings you bliss

Both:
I really hope you get it
And you don’t live to regret it
I hope you’re happy in the end
I hope you’re happy my friend

Bernie leaps atop a unicorn and addresses a 20,000+ crowd in Sacramento:
So if you care to find me
Look to the Western sky!
As someone told me lately
Everyone deserves the chance to fly
And if I’m flying solo
At least I’m flying free
To those who ground me
Take a message back from me!

Tell them how I am defying Hillary
I’m flying high, defying Hillary
And soon I’ll match them in renown
And nobody in all DC
No pundit that could ever be
Is ever gonna bring me down!

Hillary, in a fit of passion, throws two handfuls of dollar bills up into the air:
I hope you’re happy

An army of internet trolls spring up at her feet and jab their fingers at Bernie:
He’s just like
McGovern!
Get him!

Bernie, still astride the unicorn:
Bring me down!

Trolls and Hillary:
Or like Gene McCarthy!
So we got to bring him
Down!

Brother, Can You Spare

They used to tell me I was building a life,
and so I followed the rules,
I studied all the books, and passed the tests,
I was always the good boy at school.
They used to tell me I was paving the way,
for a family, home and a job
Why am I working part-time, now,
Why do I feel I’ve been robbed?

Once I was a scholar, ready to run, ready to make my luck.
Once I was a scholar; now I’m broke.
Brother, can you spare a buck?

Once I built a skillset, top of the class, lauded and praised for my pluck;
Once I built a skillset, but I picked the wrong one.
Brother, can you spare a buck?

Once in khaki pants, Mom and Dad bought
Full of that middle class aplomb,
Millions of your children went off to be taught,
And I was in tune with the thrum!

Say, what did you promise, before the fall? Before you gambled our lives for a buck?
Hey, what does it matter? You got yours…  Buddy, could you give a fuck?

Those same khaki pants, ragged and worn,
Drained of that youthful enterprise,
We’re starting to wish he had never been born,
All that they told us were lies!

Tell me what you promised, tell me now; say that I’m not just some schmuck!
Say you broke your promise, it’s your fault!
Daddy, can you spare a buck?

Smells Like Millennial Spirit

Load up on debt, and go to school
You’re told that’s what you gotta do
To get a job and get ahead
But soon you’ll wish that you were dead

No jobs, no chance, no life, no way
No jobs, no chance, no life, no way
No jobs, no chance, no life, no way
No jobs, no chance, no life…

And the rich ones, they’re complaining
That we want now, some explaining
How come they have all the power
But they still act sad and dour?

A CFO, a CEO, a COO, a BMW
Yeah, hey

And generations came before
Who said that nothing mattered more
Than being true to yourself
But now they’re blinded by the wealth

A house, a kid, a car, I’m fine
Fuck you, you’re born at the wrong time
We thrived, it crashed, now it’s your ass
I’ve got mine, I’m all right

Now they don’t see how it’s dangerous
Gen X lied and they betrayed us
They slacked off and still got paid, yes
And they don’t see what the pain is

Shop a Walmart, pay the butcher, buy more stuff and, cheat the future
Yeah, hey, yeh

And I forget just why I try
Oh yeah, I guess I have to survive
My internship still goes unsued
At several thousand interviews

Hello, hello, hello, I’ll go
Hello, hello, hello, pay low
Hello, hello, put on a show
They’ll say we’ll call, but you know

That the youth are, scared and joyless
Here we are now, please employ us
We’ll flip burgers, park your Taurus
While low wages, will destroy us

Blame yourself and, don’t ask questions, the rich know the, right direction

A denial, a denial, a denial, a denial, a denial
A denial, a denial, a denial, a denial

For Pete Seeger

 

Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes made of ticky tacky
Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes all the same,
There’s a green one and a pink one
And a blue on and a yellow one
And they’re all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look the same.

I used to hate those little boxes
And I said that I would never be
Put in those darn little boxes
Where they all came out the same
But the banks crashed and the jobs died
And I’m trying to raise a family
So my life is made of ticky tacky
And there’s millions just the same.

And we all went off to college
Where they said that we would never be
Put in boxes, boring boxes
In an office or a school
But they didn’t see that gambling
Would damage the world economy
Now we beg for jobs in boxes
Where we all look just the same

And I look out at the future
And what my life was gonna be
And I see the house of ticky tacky
That I’ll never hope to gain.
Working part time, paying student debt
You can’t get ahead financially
But on Wall Street, they get a bonus
And they all have no shame.

Happy Birthday to me

To the tune of:

 


He was born on a Summer’s day, 1985
With a hand by his head
Waving gaily as he made to arrive
His mother and father said “what a friendly boy”
We’ll teach him to be noble and good
Just like we should
He’ll grow up big and
He’ll never be dim
We’ll teach him how to help
Those who are worse off than him

Oh, oh, what a friendly boy
Oh, what a friendly boy
Oh, what a lonely boy

In the winter of ’88 his mother
Brought him a sister
And she told him that he had a job
To be a model for her
Well, he ran made sure to follow the rules
Even when children were cruel
He made sure to be lawful and good
He thought the world had understood

Oh, oh, what a kingly boy
Oh, what a kingly boy
Oh, what a kingly boy

[Instrumental Interlude]

But that Kingdom
Couldn’t last
And this monarch
Was stuck in his past

He left home on a Summer’s day, two thousand and three
And he hoped to find all the good people
Just like his family had been
Well, he thought he had friends
And he had a career
That his kingdom had come
Ah yes, it had come
But the bottom fell out
He had nowhere to go
If he hadn’t found his wife
He would have gone long ago

Oh, oh, what an ornery boy
Oh, what a ornery boy
Oh, what a ornery boy

 

Here’s to another year of intransigent mediocrity 🙂

Poverty Rock Anthem

Sorry, children. Employment hunting and my current employment. You know how it goes. Until then, enjoy another wonderful song parody!

I suppose to properly get the experience, you’d have to listen to the song. Ehh. Here’s an embed.

POVERTY ROCK
YEA
Whoa!!!!
LET’S GO!!

Guess I’m sleeping in my car tonight
Til the repo man knocks on my door
Congressmen gonna make me lose my mind
Makin’ millions; make me pay for more.

I got evicted from my house tonight
I couldn’t pay the rent on time
Even though I’m workin’ overtime,

We just wanna see you!

SUFFER!

*instead of the standard shrieky keyboard noise (if you’ve seen the commercial with the dancing hamsters, you know the noise) we’ll substitute in some auto-tuned noises of change rattling in a styrofoam cup, hacking coughs, maybe a rolling shopping cart or two, filled to the brim with personal affects and pigeon exrcement.

In the streets, poverty, headin to another job, number three
Non stop, hour twenty-three: waiter, bookstore, and delivery.

“Thanks for shopping” I got to say
Got student loans I got to pay
Half black half white, mocha joe
Look for tip, funds are low.

Yo!!
I’m running through temp jobs like drano
I got intelligence, bro, but I don’t let it show
I keep it shut! That’s how to keep cash in my coffer
Minimum wage, no benefits offered.

Hey!!!

Hoping I don’t catch the flu tonight
No insurance for a part-time slob
If I’m mad because my cash is tight
Why don’t I go out and get a good job?

Job creators making bank tonight
While I’m sleeping on a bench in the park
Record profit with no tax in sight

10 year olds in China… Zāoshòu!
Every day they’re sufferin’

(this time, we get a quick flyover to the Beijing area, where the auto-tuned squeaking is replaced by a mishmash of auto-tuned sewing machines, machine presses, and the wails of underpaid workers.)

Shuffling shuffling

(we see the workers, yes, shuffling back to cheap tenement housing, miles away from friends and family. The products roll out, and we zoom back to America.)

Step up fast and be the first to defend your campaign cash
Keep your money, don’t reinvest, now stop!
Spending is bad

More tax cuts for us
Another round
Regulations cut
Don’t mess around
We just wanna see
A dollar sign
Unemployment up
Get on the line!

Get up, come down, no jobs yet, so turn around [3x]
Look for work in other towns
Halliburton’s hiring now!

Go east
Go west
Go north
Go south
Look here
Apply
Door slam
Bye-Bye
No work
Put your hands up to your head, shed a tear

Tear your hair out!
Tear your hair out!
Tear your hair out!

If I sing a happy song tonight
We’ll forget how bout how the country’s screwed up
So we’ll just keep on the sunny side
1930s style is totally retro!

Oh! Oh! Give your life up!

(a guy in the background shouts out “I haven’t seen a dentist in over ten years!”)

Oh! Oh! Sign it over!
Oh!!!Oh!!! Work at Wal-Mart!

Face it!

Twenty-six percent poverty.

Nothing, nothing
Nothing, nothing (Yeah Yeah)
Nothing’s open (Whooo!!!)
Burn diplomas
Keep from freezing
Lost another
Generation.

Reality Interrupts!

Well we’re living here in Everytown
And they’re taking all the job postings down
At the city hall they’re killing time
Filling out forms
Standing in line.

Well our fathers fought the Vietnam War
So we sit and watch the Jersey Shore
With pop culture and ironic shirts
Living online
So we can’t be hurt
And we’re living here in Everytown.

But the joblessness was handed down
To the graduates who want their pay…

Well we’re waiting here in Everytown
For the USA that we never found
For the promises our teachers gave
While they worked hard
We didn’t behave.

So the graduations stay in the drawer
Opportunities to mop a floor
But the bosses still won’t give us a job
They hire instead
Some idiot slob.

And we’re waiting here in Everytown.
But they’ve taken all the gold that’s around
And the corporations squirrelled away…

Every child had a pretty good shot
To get at least as far as their old man got.
If something happened on the way to that place
They threw our “education” back in our face, oh oh oh.

Well I’m living here in Everytown
And it’s hard to pin employment down.
So I’ll temp myself into the grave…

I just wanna have a job today…
And we’re failing here in Everytown.

I’m going, Ma, I’m going
Your son has heard the call
There’s right that needs its doing
I’m leaving in the fall.

I’m leaving, Ma, I’m leaving
The leaves are orange and red
They clash with me in drab green
And to the plane I’m lead

I’m shooting, Ma, I’m shooting
He got me in the knee
Is he friend or is he foe
Or is he enemy

And the band will play God Bless America
But why no one will bother to say
Why are we sending our sons off to die
Why can’t there be some other way?

I’m bleeding, Ma, I’m bleeding
I sure do miss the farm
The soft warm days in autumn
As they blow off my arm.

I’m thinking, Ma, I’m thinking
Of all my days in school
Surrender to my memories
And play the part of fool.

And the band will play God Bless America
But please, Mother, try not to cry.
The truth is that I am starting to die…
And fuck, I don’t even know why.

I’m dying, Ma, I’m dying
My life is fading fast
I wish I’d said I love you
More, I wish I’d made it last

I’m crying, Ma, I’m crying
What am I doing here?
It wasn’t pride that got me
I signed up out of fear.

I’m choking, Ma, I’m choking
The blood is in my lungs
Why did I throw it all away
Why did I die so young?

And the band will play God Bless America
And they’ll put a flag on the box
But tear that flag off, Mom, let them see my face
Riddled with metallic pox.

I hurts me, Ma, it hurts me
More than I thought it would
Not the guns, bombs, or debris
The thought of leaving you

I miss you, Ma, I miss you
I miss it all back home
Fight for me after my death
Don’t let these poor boys go.

Good bye now, Ma, good bye now
I know you love me so
I only wanted freedom
I didn’t want to go.

Let the band now play God Bless America
And let everyone fake their way through
But the truth is if they really listened and learned
They’d have to find something to do.

Stand beside her, and guide her…

Davey Destroyed the Punk Scene

I made the perfect Kool-Aid yesterday. I just found out this morning because it had to cool properly. Filtered water, just enough sugar (I was afraid I had added too much) and grape flavor explosion. The world changes and the mountains crumble to the sea, but Kool-Aid is forever ^_^
Found out the best time to toodle around K-Town is about 9:30 on a Sunday morning. The roads are civil and the stores fairly empty. It was nice.
Also, I’d like to clear something up. I had a red face. It’s just natural. I have dry skin, so I have to moisturize, so the extra contact makes me look ever more the round-faced, apple cheeked youth that I am. I’m not drunk (as some people have wondered) and I’m not in a constant state of embarassment… I just have a red face.
And now…more words from Tour!

Romance. I lost it, sometime last summer. Maybe I gave it away, or it was taken from me. All I know is that I do not feel the way I used to. Maybe I’m just growing up, or maybe I’m just blowing out.
I used to be Mr. Pie in the Sky, Mr. Movie Miracle, Mr. Romantic Fool who was always hoping for that storybook, picture perfect, charming and shmaltzy ending. But somewhere, sometime last summer, I lost that. It’s like I’ve hardened my heart. I cannot tell whether this is a natural proression into adulthood and a fresh pursuit of meaningful and mature relationships… or if I’m just going bonkers, cynical and grumpy, and moving closer and closer to a shack in the woods.
I don’t feel what I used to. I don’t feel that silly yearning, or that empty feeling. Maybe I found what I was looking for, and it was in myself. I don’t feel like I need someone anymore. Christ, right now I’m in such transistory limbo that I don’t I could handle one. My experience is limited. I feel like I have many social years to make up. Like I need to go to some remedial life school or something. Right now, sure, something would be nice, but it’s not necessary.
I’ve gone some 20 and a half years without a full a proper relationship. For about ten of those, I’ve been yearning for that affection. River, Catherine, X, Melanie, Tempest, Sunny, Barber, Dame, Elevator…and so it goes. One to another, ever since 5th Grade. But it’s not the same anymore. I’m not all goggle-eyed and overwhelmed. I’m more resigned and despondent. Those I like never work out, and neither does trying to force myself onto people who like me. An impasse, a SNAFU, FUBAR and with no end in sight.
So I’m just sotra floating. For the first time in my life, since third grade and an innocent playground infatuation, I have no serious, palpable romantic interest. From infatuation to lust to love and around again…my chain, my cycle is broken. This happened once before, post-Melanie and pre-Tempest. This time, however, it might last longer than a few months. During times like this, I’m lost within myself, for a large part of me is not there. So I wander until my life settles out again.
And if it doesn’t there’s always a shack in the woods ^_~

And now for something, completely different.

The music sucks today.
When I turn on my FM dial,
I can barely stand the style,
Where did it go wrong?

The children suck today.
Little bratty bitches keep on
shitting in their britches,
Where did it go wrong?

Maybe it’s all gone to hell
or maybe I’m just old…

I’m 20 going on 65
Don’t fit the demographic
I’m 20 going on 65
The world around me makes me sick

The schooling sucks today
No one’s learnin’ nothin’
Unless you put your time in,
Where did it go wrong?

The parents suck today
Pass ’em on and get ’em through,
Our selfish lives need focus too,
Where did it go wrong?

Maybe it’s all gone to shit
or maybe I’m just old

I’m 20 going on 65
Reverse Senility
I’m 20 going on 65
Or maybe, I’m just me?

The culture sucks today
Selfish pricks are out of touch,
Caring bout their lives too much,
Where did it go wrong?

The future sucks today
No respect mentality
Will lead to high mortality
Where did it go wrong?

Maybe it’s inevitable,
Or maybe I’m just right

I’m 20 going on 65
Waiting for the world to lose it’s lid
I’m 20 going on 65
Now get off my porch you damn punk kid

As you can see, tour was…interesting ^_^
Until tomorrow, I tenderly remain,
Eric.